Something's gotta give

As things slowly but gradually are starting to return to normal, I am attempting to realize that something has got to give. There is too much to attend to in a 24 hour day. Where do I start? The house, my administration, the job I got from work, deciding what I want to do with my future, interior decorating, writing the book I want to write etc. etc.. Most things I look at seem impossible whether there are physical limitations or a mental ones. Finally, I just give up.

There is plenty to do without even starting any of the above! 3 days of rehab, bringing Kiara to school every morning and picking her up, doing the groceries, cooking, cleaning up the kitchen washing clothes etc. etc. It all sounds so simple...but every action is a major effort. I notice that it is hard to get around to meeting friends. Sometimes I am tired, sometimes I am concentrating on Kiara, and sometimes I am simply depressed. I frequently let the phone ring without picking it up. The extra impulses seem confusing at times, so I illiminate them. On the other hand...it's quiet here and I miss people around me.

It felt great to be able to bring Kiara to her soccer practice (another one of those Earthly activities). That was certainly the last thing I expected to do anytime soon. A fine activity with consequences. Pain in the evening.

I don't know where to start as almost anything I really want to do requires help, which requires people around me which results in fatigue. Today I have decided that I will concentrate on making my home my own again, as feeling at home should also make me feel better. Apart from that I will try to figure out what I want from life. Getting a second chance is great, but remember that feeling of being a kid in a toy store? "What should I pick?"
or "What if I miss something?" It's risky business making choices.

Sometimes fate just takes over. Then it becomes confusing whether life is living me or whether I am living my life. As my mind explodes, something has got to give. But what?