30 August 2010

Life changing moments

I haven't been able to write the last week. So much has been going on , but I have been in too much pain. The big news is that I am back in OP pretty soon. Since last week, the pain in my arm has been fragile. I had a wonderful birthday celebrating it on Saturday with friends from the neighborhood, but that was the same day that I realised something was really wrong. I spent the weekend at home and make sure I enjoyed the Sunday as well before calling the hospital. This was supposed to be a major weekend as I turned 42 against all odds. But by Monday morning I was certain that my left arm, had given way. The gentleman doctors deliberated as to what to do. By Wednesday I was given the choice, either we replace the nuts, or we replace the whole pin. Seeing as the RFA treatment was scheduled anyway, I decided that I would go for the least invasive option, and to see how that holds. This means that within two or three weeks I will be back in the hospital for surgery. I have been in incredible pain,.... in my right arm, but also to my hip. For the first time in all these years I have cried constantly from the pain.

It's 7 AM in the morning, and I actually slept last night. Why? This is the first day of the rest of my life. It looks like things are going to change. Tomorrow is the day that my long awaited matters arrives. Technically speaking. It should mean that the pain will die down. It also looks as if today is the day that my relationship ends. Cancer is hard on partners. As my partner so prudently pointed out, he still has a life and I don't. I have news for you, cancer is even harder on people who have to bear it. I don't know what life will look like at the beginning of this day, all I can say is that it really hurts. I have become a burden. Well, that's the last thing I Wanna be so, we'll see what the day brings, perhaps I'll be lucky.

Checking out to see if I can save my old life in any possible way....

To be continued.

19 August 2010

Progressing slowly

Since the last post have been working very hard. I went from standing for the first time, to walking 50 metres. Swimming is also going well. I swim, 250 m in half an hour. Last week. I had a couple of sessions, radiation therapy. Somehow, I can't seem to get away from the hospital. Lately, I try to organise my trips to the hospital in such a way that there is always someone to accompany me.

I have become so familiar with the routine that little tricks like putting my stuff in a zip lock bag so that I don't have two worry about carrying a lot of different things, while I am being transported by ambulance. The transportation is very strenuous. Theadiation therapy was to my head and to my rib. When you arrive at the hospital. They position your body on a hard surface and by means of a CT scan, they localise the area that needs to be radiated. This is a very difficult process as precision is of extreme importance. They also use a mask to fixate your head seeing as moving a few millimetres could cause damage to healthy tissue. The mask looks pretty creepy, though it is of great importance to use it. The team at the VU hospital quite as disciplined as in the AVL hospital. They ended up positioning me four times and by the fourth time the machine crashed. This resulted me in having to lie down on a hard surface for an hour and a half last Friday. I am grateful know that Doctor Dahele is always present during my therapy. This is a criterium to be able to go forward with the therapy as far as I am concerned.
More trips to the hospital have been taking place. Yesterday I visited the neurologist and the oncological surgeon for further treatment. They have decided to go through with RFA to the Sacrum. It took a whole day to see the doctors yesterday, from 10 o'clock in the morning until six o'clock at night, when the ambulance finally came. Because I travel lying down, I am often placed in areas where
the bed won't get in the way. Yesterday, they parked me in the room where the casts are moulded. Because I have to wait for the ambulance for hours, they admitted me to a one day patient department. The joke is that my view was looking out on to my last room in the hospital. Not really inspiring.

Kiara has been back from holidays with her father for almost 3 weeks now. She spent the last 2 weeks, doing all sorts of fun stuff. For instance, she went to Friesland with Aldith to see Jet. We know Jet from twitter. Kiara was able to camp their and they made boat a trip, a typical Dutch activity. Jet taught Kiara how to navigate and read maps.

Kiara's cousins also took her to the Efteling (a Dutch prizewinning theme park). As I gather, they had heaps of fun. In the meantime, life goes on, and I keep on working really hard. I keep practicing walking, swimming, and sitting.

Until I move more, daily in
jections are necessary to prevent Tromboses.

07 August 2010

I Walk!

04-08-2010 I walk again. Here's a vid made today!:

01 August 2010

Moving along

It's been two weeks since I talked to my doctor. An interesting fact is that my pulse has dropped from 105 - 120 to 93. The only factor which has changed is the amount of stress I was living with. I had check-ups this week with Doctor Lips, and my blood work looks great. Even my blood pressure is back to how it used to be three years ago. Looks like things are looking up for me. Besides swimming. I have proceeded on land as well. I can now sit a good 10 minutes on the edge of my bed. I have also started to stand using a lift. Once the lift has put me on my feet I am able to hold my weight, indicating that my legs are strong enough to hold me. Yesterday I tried to lift my legs are standing. Even that seems to be an option.This week. I have also started to try to get out of my bed on my own. I can almost manage it without help. I have been here now, five weeks and am growing into my routine. Steps taken seemed to be so slow. But @Tuxeltje on twitter has assured me that I am a long and very fast pace. It just doesn't seem that way, because I'm in the middle of it. let's just keep hoping for the best.They have also put me in a wheelchair during my standing sessions. I didn't sit for long, but that was the first step to some independence. I hope that the next couple of weeks I will be able to move around myself. Emca
Sport will be del
ivering my speedy to the Trappenberg, which is fantastic. It will mean that I can get around motorised!

The three weeks separation from Kiara are almost coming to an end. She will be home on Tuesday. Cant wait to see her as I have missed her so much. Three more days to go!