Thyroglobulin up to 10.000

Since I have cancer I have felt that I have earned the right to cuss. I have always been strict about that with Kiara and pretty good about that myself but since the Cancer got into me I have been swearing it out regularly. When Kiara told me off, I told her I felt so bad...it was the disease making me do it. Recently, I've been doing much better.

Today, however, this picture has been on my mind. I just got back from my holidays and felt recharged and ready to go. This morning I visited Gerritsen's office for my regular check-up. I got there knowing I was to receive the results of the bloodtest from before my last Iodine treatment. I knew the count was probably up a bit as the previous Iodine treatment had worn off, which gives the cells a chance to multiply again. We are talking about the period between 18 september and 15 oktober. I had expected to get a reading of 3500 at the most, so I was totally alarmed to hear that it had gone up to 10.000.

Though Geritssen insured me that Lips said this was normal, I also read between the lines when he said he checked with Lips to find out why my count had gone up. He seemed perfectly relaxed about this, but as my consultation time was much shorter than normally and as he seemed to want to round it off, it just felt like really bad news.

I have to process this first. More was said though. The spot on my head is worrying. They are thinking about radiation therapy on my head. I was told by Wuisman earlier this year that he preferred to operate my skull and that that was a perfectly routine procedure. It scared me at the time, but I have changed my mind and would actually prefer it to radiation therapy on my head. Gerritsen does not agree with Wuisman, he is afraid of the neurological consequences. He told me they would be making a hole in my skull and replacing the bone with a plate. I insisted that that was no difference to the porous substance that I have there at the moment. The thought of bumping my head is disgusting. I literally see pictures of smashed skull forced into my brain. (Excuse my graphic language, but I just want to explain). The only good thing about not going into surgery is that the bone might replace itself. Somehow a clear removal of all of the cancer cells appeals to me more. We will discuss what to do after my next MRI scan.

In the meantime we have taken another sample of blood to see what the last treatment has done. It will take another 4 odd weeks until I have the results.
It is not a procedure that takes 4 weeks. They only do the lab work once a month. That drives me absolutely crazy. All in all...the doctor has assured me that my great recovery is a sign that all is well. I made sure to tell him that my recovery up to now has been largely orthopedic and that the first time when I came in, nobody could tell that I was sick. I do not trust my looks at all. I also do not trust how I feel, at all. He agreed that my thinking made sense.

We also looked at the Iodine scan. The uptake was great. I was not there long enough to study the difference between the first time and the second time.

It seemed to me that the uptake in my back and hips was a lot less than the first time (a sign that there are less cancer cells there). The head seemed the same and my rib...I don't know...that did not look too good to me. The areas that I still feel are the head, my rib, and my pelvic bone. I trust my instinct that these are the areas to watch.

Later on that day a small miracle happened which made me feel good. It is a private miracle that I might share with you in the future. If there is anything such as mystical forces...then I am sure I am being watched over. Or is this just me trying to hold on to my regular optimism?




'Sometimes I think that I had already lived my life to the fullest and that God made a mistake and thought it was my time'.

Me, earlier this week