Storm clouds they gather

I promised to post about what is next. I have been told that I am not to expect to be able to feel the bottom of my leg and my foot anymore. This has great implications...I will again need to learn to walk, which should be possible as I still have the strength. This problem and several other potential problems like bladder retention etc. are being caused by a tumor on my tailbone which in a month's time has more than doubled in size. This tumor has has its maximum share of radiotherapy and therefore doctors are looking for another way to reduce the cancer mass. Each possible solution in very invasive and a possible threat as this area of the body is an meshwork of intricly woven arteries and nerves. It's a very specialistic field for neurosurgeons...they are looking into the possibility to operate on me. There are two more ways to try to treat this, heat therapy (burning) and embolization (blocking the bloodvessels).

My life as I know it is going to drastically change. Right now I am overwhelmed by the speed at which things have gone (Thyroglobulin count from 6K to 20K in one month). Obviously I am worried and wondering if I am counting my last days....My doctors don't seem to think so because they want me up and walking again and are working very hard to find the right solution for me. My attitude the last 3 years is paying off, herds and herds of doctors in 3 different hospitals are working together, listening to me and providing the best care. I am scared.

First thing in the morning is radiation therapy of TH6. In the course of the day I hope to hear what the dream team has decided.
Telling my Marcus, my family and friends about this hurts so much.