No pain no gain

My last post was month ago. Since then pain has reigned. The pain is really indescribable but the best description I can give you is that this feels like I would expect a glowing hot rod pushed up your behind to feel like. I was transported home the Friday after my operation whilst my pain medication wasn't adjusted yet. I was given Fentanyl plasters and lollies (opiates) which are the strongest painkillers administered out of the hospital and even that did not help. This pain has dragged me through my lowest levels of conciousness, to the point that I was certain other people would have given up. I was feeling like the end might be really near, living one day at a time. I have lost so much weight that I have lost all of my reserves. Seeing as Dr. Lips prefers me to be 20 KG overweight, it means that if a really bad complication turns up now and I lose a lot of weight, it will be difficult to fight back.

I kept a low profile, few phone calls, hardly any visitors, no blogging and no tweets on Twitter by me. I had energy for one thing only and that was getting better. I had some quality time with Kiara which was both beautiful and confronting.

In the meantime I mourned the loss of my relationship. Marcus easily picked things up with his Nancy and seems to show little remorse.

On the brighter side of things, I passed the Trapp-test. As soon as my pain has died down I get to go back to the Trappenberg. Dr. Bussemaker is at least making an effort to repair the damage that was done. She is now keeping tabs on my progress which is very pleasant. A little birdy (never ever mentioning names) told me that my blog's impact caused quite some havoc at the Trappenberg. It was even discussed in the Management Team and some seem to think it was un-ethical that I mentioned the Dr.'s name. I don't intend to defend myself as this blog is about my life, how I experience it and what goes on in it. I have always mentioned my Dr.'s names so what goes for them, also goes for Dr. Bussemaker. My story about the past months is merely a reflection of what actually happened. I hope the havoc will do some good and that lessons can be learnt.
Remember 2 years ago when I had problems with Dr. Jiya?...well we solved them and got them out of the way. If things get better with Dr. Bussemaker I will be the first to report it. Moreover I believe that freedom of speech is still one of our virtues. I can't help it that I am a pretty good communications advisor and that my blog is read by an average of 600 people each week. All I can say is that people keep coming back to it, I must be saying something worthwhile.

This week finally it seems like the pain is slowly deminishing. They took forever getting the dose of the pain medication right. I am still training with the physical therapist and still manage to sit up and stand once a day. It feels like I will need some more time at home. I was struck by a bladder infection and now that that's gone a tendon in my arm is strained. After not eating for a week I am slowly starting to take in more food. I hope the trend can remain upwards for a while now.