Back to the hospital

The last couple of days I have been feeling very tired. Since monday morning there has been blood in my urine. This is a common problem with catheters so we waited to see what would happen. By Tuesday morning I was losing so much that my nurse Cécile called the doctor to take a look. By 1pm I was admitted to Tergooi Hospital in Hilversum. They are flushing my bladder with saline solution and they gave me two packs of blood to treat my anaemia. I spent the night here and have to stay here until they stablize me and find out what the cause is. It is always scary with the cancer, as many scary options could be the cause of my problems. By last night many tests were run. The scariest scenarios were tested negative. It looks like my pain medication is causing the trouble.
I have to say that they are very thorough. Last night I was given a transfusion of leucocytes and today I have been given 2 packs of blood. I am starting to feel much better. More info later!

Kill the Beast III

And the battle continues. Dr. Lips and Dr. Dahele haven't given up on me. Today I am going to the hospital to start with the new treatment plan.
I will be having radiation therapy to my sacrum, my rib and my left arm. These being the first treatments that are supposed to slow down the all-round deterioration but mostly to tackle the pain.

I am also having an MRI done of my head to monitor the skull.
Then last, but not least, I will be meeting Professor Boven (oncologist) to discuss the possibility of chemo and/ or experimental therapy with Everolimus.

Sometime this week I will write a very detailed account of my physical state.

Will be home tonight! Let's hope the ambulance doesn't take forever.

#happytwewyear

Well made it again! 2011, who would have thought that on April 30th 2007? The doctors thought I would have months to live and basically did everything to ease pain and discomfort.

Since then I have been into Rehab 4 times, have had a 3 year relationship, launched my company, made numerous trips and most important of all....seen my 7 year old Kiara turn into a teenager.

How is this possible? I think the answer is FOCUS. I have focussed on my goals: what, how,where,when,and with whom do I want to do things, and how do I want things done.

I have been known to be a real control freak and have been given names like The General, The Boss, Schwarzkopf....etc. I really hated it and felt like people misunderstood me in the past. It hurt. I always heard the negative undertone. Yes, I am in control of everything that I do and I try to drag my environment along in my wake, but I dare say my intentions were always noble. I wanted the best for everyone.

It is this control that has gotten me this far, if only it were because I have been able to avoid scarry mistakes due to lousy communication in the hospital.

So back to the FOCUS! For this year I have set 3 goals which I intend to target with military precision.

1. I have to make it to Kiara's 12th birthday (19-07-1999) so that she has a say in where she wants to live if I die.
2. I have to be around when Kiara starts Highschool.Gotta see that! Who wouldn't!
   
3. I have to make it into my new home at the Entrada.

That's it! That is what I need to do!

3 years ago I told myself I was going to make it to Kiara's 10th birthday, I am not doing too bad I suppose.



I celebrated my goals yesterday on Twitter where I held one of my virtual parties yesterday afternoon. If you are interested follow the tag #happytwewyear on Twitter. You can also see my speech here. I'm afraid it's in Dutch though.

So seeing as FOCUS works for me, I wish all of you the very same. Please live your lives like they are going out of fashion, and be nice! How hard is that?