Back to the OR

A year ago Marcus and I promised each other that we would be spending the next Christmas together. And that is precisely what we did. Christmas was spent in 4 households. Mine, Marcus', his mother's home and my parents. It was the first time that the kids spent a whole week together. Unlike in other similar cases things went over really smoothly. Last Friday Kiara and I went to Almere where the kids went skating on Saturday while I finished my Christmas shopping. The tree that we had at Marcus' house was donated to Kiara. Decorated and all it was dropped of by an anonymous organisation. What I know is that the organisation was donating 'dream trees' to children with cancer. They had some trees left over and one of the mothers at Kiara's school had tipped them that Kiara deserved one too.
We transported the tree to Marcus' house which saved us having to decorate a second tree. On Christmas eve we had dinner and went to church in Amsterdam afterwards. When we got home we opened our presents. It was late, the kids went to bed without being prompted. The next morning we had brunch together. By the time we were done I was so tired that I went to sleep for a few hours. We spent Christmas evening and Marcus's mother's home and had a lovely dinner. On the second day of Christmas we celebrated at my parents home. We had a wonderful time. During the course of this week, however, there is one thing that kept going through my mind.









My next surgery. It is scarier each time. I will be staying at the VU hospital for the operation. A pin is being inserted in my left arm (Humerus). This operation will be much like the operation on my leg. The doctor (Dr. De Gast) expects me to leave the hospital in 2 days time. I am expecting a stay of 5 days approximately. My condition is different from that of other people undergoing such an operation. Anyway my phone number will be posted here. You can always try to phone my cellphone. Before my operation I have a radio therapy session of my pelvic bone. I am hoping that I am not the first to be operated on on Tuesday. That way I will be able to sleep in my own bed tomorrow. I will probably be in the hospital on New Year's eve so I wish you all the best of years and will write again when I leave the hospital. Visiting hours at the VU hospital are from 11.00- 13.00 and from 16.00 -19.30.

Well I guess I'm not!

A visit to Lips revealed that my premonitions were correct. The pain in my upper arm does indicate that the bone is so brittle that it can break very easily. Do you remember that I went to the first aid department on November 28 with precisely that question? "Please check my arm because it is about to break". They told me I was fine. I didn't even have to make a new appointment with my doctors. I then spent 7 weeks in extreem pain. Kiara has done a wonderful job documenting this periond of time in photographs. I spent a great deal of time om my sofa, unable to move my arms. I did my shopping, drove my car etc. not knowing that each load could have been the cause of losing my arm. Shortly after my visit to the first aid department I had a meeting with Professor Lips. I requested new scans of my shoulders which he luckily made. Last week while I was there for my follow-up meeting I heard that I had to have an urgent meeting with the Orthopedic Surgeon because I might need to have an operation. Last monday my mother and I headed to the hospital. I was extremely tense because up to now I have been so right about everything I felt. I decided that I would make a problem at the reception if it turned out that my meeting wasn't with Jiya. And low and behold...when I got there the receptionist told me that I had a meeting with another specialist. I blew up for the first time in almost 2 years, totally pissed off at their nonchalence. My tantrum, loud enough for other patients to hear, brought results.

Suddenly everybody was geared at helping me. My frustration was validated and the doctor that saw me at the first aid was tracked down and repremanded.

At the end of the day, when I went home I knew that I have to go back into surgery.

I need a pin in my upper arm. The situation is so urgent that they wanted to operate the next day. I told them that I wasn't going to do this before Christmas. So, I will be going in on the 30th of December. It feels like I am back where I started. The result of these meetings is that it has renewed our anxiety concerning the status of my health. Why did this patch grow so fast?
Why does my whole body hurt? Are my organs still OK? Am I moving towards a new fase? Where will things end up with regards to my mobility? I am starting to become the bionic woman. My mother and Marcus have been here with me, but the stress has hit them too.

Here's a picture which illustrates how they are canalizing their frustration by making beanies.

Well, I am going to celebrate Christmas first. Last night Kiara had her Christmas celebration with school. Paula and Bo came by and we had goodies afterwards. The next couple of days, Kiara and I will be staying at Marc's place and we will be going to our parents to celebrate. Kiara will be going to her dad's place afterwards, and I will be in the hospital on new years eve.

I am scared about the pain, my mobility but most of all, I am scared about complications. I hope that in January, I will be able to live to the fullest again.
And I really hope that I will still be able to pick up my art again.

I'm OK I guess

The surgery of my hand seems to have went OK. The pain in my shoulders is much worse, so this is easy to deal with. I do notice that the effect of the operation is getting tougher as I move along. I have seen enough hospitals, really. Marcus spent the whole weekend with me as well as Collin and Sidney. It's so nice to have someone to help you out when you feel this vulnerable. Tonight Marcus and I are off to do something really nice! We are going to see Dionne Warwick at the RAI in Amsterdam. I loved her singing since I was about 10 years old.

Speaking of all those years that have passed, in the last couple of months I have found many friends from the past on the internet, like my friends from ACST, in Tunis and from Rosemead in Littlehampton. It has been a wonderful source of happiness for me to find all those lost friends again. Thank goodness for the internet! (FB, Hyves, and Friends Reunited). Welcome to my weblog and I hope to be able to meet you all in the time to come!

Tomorrow I am back in the hospital to get an assesment on my humerus.
I refuse to go back into surgery before the end of the year, so I wonder what Jiya has to say.

Surgery again

The Morbus de Quervain is being treated. This time I get to go to the hospital in Hilversum. I haven't been on here much lately because I simply haven't been able to work on the computer due to pain. So here's a short note to inform you what I am doing.
The scare I had after the last treatment which had me going to the first aid department the day after my last treatment, was not a scare. I have to deal with the situation again that after telling people what is wrong and seeing the right doctors, now suddenly after 7 weeks they are rushing me to the specialist because, OMG....you might end up breaking your arm! Anyway, the tumor in the arm has caused the bone to become thin and brittle. That is precisely what I told them 7 weeks ago. I literally said that I was scared that my bone was going to break and explained why I thought so. They checked and told me everything was OK. Nobody said that I needed to go back to my specialist. I asked for the scans myself, and now suddenly they want to rush me in there and have made it is possible to see Dr. Jiya within 4 days (including the weekend). So, monday I will be going in to find out what needs to be done about the Humerus. For now...I will concentrate on today's surgery of the tendon of my thumb. I can deal with that, there is no cancer involved!