I am recovering really...

I am recovering really fast. (?) path. Pain is not that bad at the moment and I see a few people with family and I'm doing pretty good actually.
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Just taken some x-rays...

Just taken some x-rays already. They're looking good so as of tomorrow I'm allowed to do everything. I can start with the physical therapist. I'll see you back soon. Bye.
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Hi everyone. I just...

Hi everyone. I just come out of my anesthetic state and (?). The operation went well. I needed all the (?). Just wanted to get email back then I'll be back on here soon. Love you. Bye bye.
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Last bits and bobs

The last couple of days I have been spending time with loved ones and getting my everything in order. Well guys. Time flies! I am off to the hospital tomorrow and will be operated on on Thursday. I have managed to get everything done. Mom came to help me in the weekend and it feels a whole lot better than two years ago when I suddenly crashed. This time it does not feel like survival but just like one step along the way. Please do not try to call me anymore until Saturday. I will be available on my cell phone as long as it is on. If it is not..then, well I won't be available at that time! I will be at the VU hospital in Amsterdam:

De Boelelaan 1117

1081 HV Amsterdam

Visiting hours are from:

11.00 to 13.00 hours and from

16.00 to 19.30 hours at the orthopedic department 2C.

Don't come if you have a cold or flu though.

Before Saturday I have to get stronger. If all is wll I can receive visitors from Saturday onwards. If you are planning on coming by the first week, please call my sister Adrienne at my house first.

Busy, busy, busy

Working towards an operation somehow gives you a major energy boost. Procrastination screeches to a hault when you know that the stuff you need to get done....really needs to get done. So within 2 days I have caught up with paying my bills, filing my admin, handing in my tax returns, arranging all sorts of stuff for Kiara, requesting aid for after my operation, purchasing a new bed for Marcus' house, getting my brakes replaced, getting my locks renewed, etc. etc. etc. In the midst of this all I have managed to find time to finish off the job that I have taken on and I have started to go to hydrotherapy again. I want my muscles to be as fit as possible when I go to the hospital next week. It's hard to find a balance with rest and with the pain but somehow I am managing.
Anyway, next week it's official, I am becoming the Bionic woman with one arm and two legs enhanced. I am hoping and praying that the result is as good as the last time! Now that I have learnt to feel pain, that is my biggest fear. The operation is creeping up on me pretty fast!

Lots to do, very little umf!

This past week has been pretty crazy. I have been doing quite a lot with Kiara in this time running up to my operation. I've also been trying to get extra time in with Marcus. If you don't watch it everybody gets caught up in their own itinery and time will secretly pass by while you are not paying attention. Unfortunately I am in a lot o f pain and can only do a little at a time.

Kiara who is crazy about musicals signed up for an audition for Ciske de Rat a huge Dutch production. Kiara can act well, and to my suprise she had practiced so much that she was up to it. She was invited to the auditions. It wasn't a very long wait. Everything happened within 2,5 hours. Kiara was not selected for the musical but they sent her to another company where they will be putting up a musical show about Nelson Mandela. I wonder what they will say! They told her that she auditioned well which is really something.

On top of that Kiara is entering for the Dutch competitions of the Junior Eurovision Songcontest. You can watch her vid here. Dutch viewers please go to the AVRO site and vote! This whole thing has kept us and Jermaine and Ineke pretty busy.

Apart from Facebook which has been keeping me occupied day and night, I actually met my old friend Yvonne who I knew in Brazil when I was seven. She and our parents got together for lunch last monday. We had a fabulous lunch out in the sun in Apeldoorn. That was my first day in the sun this year.

It was great to reminice! I am enjoying my time...dodging between resting an resting! Though I am confined to my crutches and wheelchair again, I do manage to drive. It seems to be the only way that I can fixate my hipjoint.

I have started hydrotherapy again to boost my physical condition before my operation. I am happy that it will be happening soon.

When Dopamine meets your dreams

As you all know I had my Iodine treatment last week. It must have been successful because I was in awful pain.

When I'd wake up in the morning the pain was so severe I couldn't be bothered to get up to get to my painkillers. I tried to sleep it off, but my body took over. I have learned that actually concentrating on the pain is a good way to relieve yourself of it. Instead of the painkillers my body kicked in and produced some powerful Dopamine. In a slumbering state I dreamt my way into fantasy land where cancers were dead souls in purgatory waiting to be welcomed in heaven. One was called Queen Mama, a peaceful lady residing in the tumor of on my skull.The other was Big Mama, very much resembling this halloween creature on the left. Only she was blue, and not big at all! Hence the name! Of course. No, she was probably big because she resided in the tumour in my spine. The severest one at the moment. Well maybe there is some truth to that German Doctor's story -can't remember his name- that cancer should be treated with exorcisms. I think I will stick to my dreamteam, even if they give me head-aches half of the time.

Anyway I made it through the weekend. On the following monday I heard about what was going through regarding my surgery. I have a date now which is the 23rd of April. This period leading up to the surgery has been really tough. However, I am in so much pain now that I welcome the surgery.
I have enough time to get my stuff organized before that, and hope to emerge from this all in the summer. As of the 18th I will be seeking peace and quiet again. Please watch the blog for relevant information, and don't call me, I'll call you until my blog states otherwise. My sister Adrienne will be at my home and will take calls or requests to visit at home. Just dial my home number! I do love the visits in the hospital though. They get you through the day! Now that I can update with my cellphone, I can get information out to you quicker! I will do some more posts before I go!

Helena's visit

My ghostwriter has put me in the position that I now have to write up on Helena's visit! Helena is my schoolfriend from Tunis, way back when we were in 3rd-6th grade. I hadn't seen Helena in about 15 years when I met her in Brussels. Helena hopped on a plane from Stockholm and I had a meeting in the VU hospital. I met her one stop away from the Airport, thank goodness for my invalid parking pass! It was as if we had last seen each other a week ago and we started chit chatting straigh-off! Helena was remarkable, she came with me to Lips's office, which did me good because you get so used to being caught up in your own little World that an outsiders'perspective on things remind you of the severity of everything that is going on. Helena quickly grasped the concept of my illness. She knows me so well that she knew I could use any help that is offered to me. Helena drove me back to Hilversum and took ik upon herself to do the shopping and cooking for me two days in a row. She also made me go rest a few times and I felt no need to disobey. You can really tell that Helena runs a house-hold with 4 beautiful kids, she never once asked me where I kept things and she just set about doing what needed to be done. In the meantime I got her hooked up to Facebook. Helena has made a giant step into the digital World! The best part of her stay was re-hashing old stories. It was beautiful. I managed to go into the hospital totally revitalized! Thank you so much girl, you are a wonderful friend!

For your entertainment, here's a little excert from Jocelyn's (who went to school with Helena and I) blog:

"This afternoon i was talking on "Skype" (intranet video call) with Aisha in Holland! Aisha "skyped" me since it was a special occasion! A mutual friend, Helena, was visiting her from Stockholm, Sweden. Helena, Aisha and I all went to school and did girl scouts together in Tunis, North Africa in 1978. I have to say its been maybe 20 years at least since we all were on a phone call together- let alone a video call! At any rate during the call, my doorbell rang, it was Ella (with her visiting Grandpa) coming to see if Zara was awake. I wasn't going to open the door since i was so excited to be on the call and Zara was alseep anyway...
So I just mentioned to Aisha and Helena, "Oh! its the cutest little girl Ella from Sweden coming to see if zara is awake, but since she isn't.." Helena cut me off and asked
if Ella had a younger sister to which i responded, "yes its M----!"
I could see Helena's expression turn to recognition and she said "OH!!..Her grandfather was my old boss in Vienna, he was the Swedish ambassador there!" Needless to say, I rushed outside and dragged them in.. both grandfather and Ella spoke to Helena in Swedish to make the connection! Turned out it was Ella's OTHER granddad that was Helena's old boss at the Swedish Ministry offices in Vienna, Austria.
Aisha and I were left sitting laughing at each other! It was amazing.. and yet so typical of us! "

My medical summit

I had my meeting on Monday with Dr. Jiya,Dr. Paul and Dr. Lips and the verdict has been spoken. There will be 1 to 3 operations. The first is of the top 5 vertebrae and then possibly we will move on to the bottom vertebrae and then there the pin in my left leg. If he doesn't manage to get that done in the first operation, there will be 2 operations instead. After all that is settled with, they will regroup and take a look and see if they might approach the tumor from the front and that would mean the chest operation will take place later on. So 2 to 3 operations will probably take place. More on that later-
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I can also adjust...

I can also adjust the text after it's been posted so that's pretty cool and well at least I can tell you my information once I get it from the hospital. I'd just call this number. I'm so excited. This is really great.
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It works. Yey.

It works. Yey. This is going to make my life so much easier. I know I can only put very short messages on here but at least I'll be able to get to you much faster so I don't have to wait til my arm works or anything, so... and it works pretty fast too. It's on there like within 5 minutes so. Wow. This is really great. I can put my messages on here at a distance, anywhere I am in the world I guess as long.
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Working with new technology...

Working with new technology dial2do. Thank you Rebecca Clear for this. I can now write my blog without having to type. I can just speak and put my information on the web. So this is an interesting test which I'm going to check out. As for the rest we'll see in a second.
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