Life changing moments
I haven't been able to write the last week. So much has been going on , but I have been in too much pain. The big news is that I am back in OP pretty soon. Since last week, the pain in my arm has been fragile. I had a wonderful birthday celebrating it on Saturday with friends from the neighborhood, but that was the same day that I realised something was really wrong. I spent the weekend at home and make sure I enjoyed the Sunday as well before calling the hospital. This was 
supposed to be a major weekend a
s I turned 42 against all odds. But by Monday morning I was certain that my left arm, had given way. The gentleman doctors deliberated as to what to do. By Wednesday I was given the choice, either we replace the nuts, or we replace the whole pin. Seeing as the RFA treatment was scheduled anyway, I decided that I would go for the least invasive option, and to see how that holds. This means that within two or three weeks I will be back in the hospital for surgery. I have been in incredible pain,.... in my right arm, but also to my hip. For the first time in all these years I have cried constantly from the pain.
It's 7 AM in the morning, and I actually slept last night. Why? This is the first day of the rest of my life. It looks like things are going to change. Tomorrow is the day that my long awaited matters arrives. Technically speaking. It should mean that the pain will die down. It also looks as if today is the day that my relationship ends. Cancer is hard on partners. As my partner so prudently pointed out, he still has a life and I don't. I have news for you, cancer is even harder on people who have to bear it. I don't know what life will look like at the beginning of this day, all I can say is that it really hurts. I have become a burden. Well, that's the last thing I Wanna be so, we'll see what the day brings, perhaps I'll be lucky.
Checking out to see if I can save my old life in any possible way....
To be continued.
Posts
4 comments:
Ach lieve Aïsha... Híj VIND je misschien een 'last', maar dat betekent niet dat je dat ook bent! Het zegt meer over hem dan over jou en die kkanker...
En zo te lezen krijg je dan ook niet veel steun van hem dus wie is hier nou de last? ;-)
Dikke knuffel van deze semi-lurker. Weet vaak niet veel te zeggen op je logs, maar leef enorm met je mee.
Liefs!
It's very hurtfull to expirience all the fysical problems you are having lately, but to be told in one or an other way that you are a burden in someone's life hurts much more. For fysical pain you can medicate, but for heartpain there is no quick fix. Perhaps a little tweepcare can ease the hurt al little bit. Giving you a big hugg, and again speaking out my respect for the way you dare life, and take decisions that aren't easy to take.
It seems like you have been "hanging in there" forever now, yet it's all I can say "hang in there". I know you won't give up and that's good. I just wish I could be closer and be part of all those that help you with practical stuff. Anyway, your in my thoughts and prayers all the time and I so admire your positive outlook and resolve. Brassa, Tosca
Gees Aisha, How much can one take? Extreme physical pain, extreme heartache. Man this is so absolutely unfair! I think this guy has no clue as to what he wat he just lost! All I can say that you are a winner! A big time winner with your positive attitude. I have the deepest respect for you. And I promise the first goodlooking doctor I see on the street, I'll grab m, put a ribbon around him and present m for your 42nd birthday:)
Take care! Love @Anneeke
Post a Comment