I left you with a cliffhanger in my last post. Yes, my relationship did end. People seem to want to know who ended it. Well, if you really want to know I did. I had a hunch that it was time to stop and I should have had that hunch 6 months ago. All in all I am not going to elaborate on details here. All I can say is that being sick does magnify every emotion.

All this happened in a really difficult week in which I had a lot of pain and have had to deal with great anxiety for the next two operations which the hospital has set up for me. The goal was to do both operations at once so I would only have to undergo anesthesia once. This however, is not possible as one is done in the Angio room (bloodvessels) and the other in the OR. Anyway I find myself co-ordinating my care again as I am trying to do both during one stay at the hospital. I have to call them in the morning.

As you can imagine besides the physical pain I have been on an emotional roller coaster this week. The man that I dedicated the rest of my life to is no longer a part of it. It was really hard to grasp myself but I put all of my energy into my therapy. Therapists Denise and Lisette were my saviours as they pushed me to my limits. They did this to boost me and small miracles took place. Also Antoinette and Anke, they were of great help. I worked on my art to keep my mind off things.





There was also Jolanda Dirken, another patient at the Trappenberg, who came to talk to me every night. Unfortunately for me this was her last week. I will really miss her!






Then there was my acquaintance Jacques Happe who turned up on Twitter and rapidly became a friend. He so kindly built me a Humus fest on Friday afternoon. Humus is a chickpea paste (middle east) that is very healthy for cancer patients. I had a lovely day with him forgetting all my sorrows and he sent me off with my ambulance at the end of the afternoon. Off I went to my home to be with Kiara for the weekend.




Waking up at home was wonderful! I have been eating very poorly but Jacques' humus kick-started me! Mom made me breakfast and lunch was the left-overs from my fest.














The point of being home was to spend some quality time with Kiara and to finish off the packing of my stuff that needs to be stored in order to be able to sell my house for a reasonable price. Melvin had already done some clearing out the week before. When you are sick, as time goes by, your home slowly changes from a home into a ware-house. As you can imagine, it means that I need to clear out a whole load of stuff. It just doesn't feel right when someone else does the clearing when you are not there. I am so greatful to Melvin (my brother) for clearing out my stuff and respecting my every wish. He came up to Hilversum especially so I could have a say about all my stuff. Mom and Dad helped him get the job done, but it was hard because all my friends (that help me so much) kept popping in. It drove me crazy after a while and I have learnt to keep the weekends that I am home for myself and Kiara as she ended up finding her peace outside. Thank you Jermaine for being her dear friend.

I am also trying to focus on a future and the best thing to focus on is my appartment building. A few weeks before I ended up in the hospital I made the papers with this shot as one of the possible future tendants of the Entrada in Hilversum. This week I received my first newsletter and they are moving along nicely with the first of the 5 flats that are being built. This is the current state of progress. They are starting to build my flat this month. I have to hurry up and choose my kitchen and bathroom which is impossible from my postion in bed. My friend Rachelle has offered to take care of all the meets and handling. So how do you explain what you want..to sum it all up we ended with a blue or brown bathroom with a touch of Mendini, totally adjusted to my handicaps of course.

Finally there is one little story I have to tell you: Because my Dr. in the Trappenberg refuses to sign the ambulance requests to go home in the weekends, the people at the ambulance department got really angry. I am talking about RAV Ambulance Voorziening Gooi- en Vechtstreek. A few people from the department, encluding Yvonne who started this all, have decided to transport me home for free every time I want to come home. This would be every two weeks or so when Kiara is home. It means that they transport me when they are off duty and the boss has given them permission to use the ambulance cars. Well, if that isn't heaven on Earth.... I don't know... I may have the worst possible disease but I sure have my little angels. Kiara was allowed to ride with us when they brought me back to the Trappenberg tonight. She got the full blown tour of the interior. After bringing me back they brought her home again!