The big dip

This week has been a horrible one. I finally had my meeting at AVL with Dr. De Boer. I was hoping he would take over the coordination of my treatment.

As we sat there it soon became apparant that I was going to have to do with Lips and the VU hospital. Dr. the Boer found a way to tell me up to 5 times that there was nothing he could do for me anymore. In actual fact he told me nothing new but his intention was to get through to me and he did. As he did this I felt my control on life slip away. This was the very first time that I broke down crying in the hospital. There is only one thought that runs through your head at that time...and that thought is: "What about Kiara? She needs me in her life"! Losing me is simply not an option. Marcus, as always, supported me through those horrible hours. We had a drink and he insisted that I made an appointment with Dr. Van Triest, the radiologist to get me back on track.

She actually made time straight away and her approach was fantastic. I have now been scheduled for radiation therapy for my shoulder again on Monday. My shoulder is a wreck at the moment, so I am happy something is being done to it.

When I got home, a minor situation made me blow up. I ended up throwing jacket potatoes around my kitchen in a rage. Luckily nothing broke....but my arm is disfunctional for at least 2 weeks now. The last time I turned aggressive was August 19, last year. I suppose that a yearly outburst isn't too bad considering my situation, so I have decided to pardon myself for it.

I turn 40 on Wednesday. What a special birthday! Last year I didn't have a clue if I would be around now. I hope to reach many more. I am not holding open house on wednesday as I will be off doing other things. I will be throwing a party somewhere in the fall when everybody is back. You will hear about that later!